I finish taking my bath and rushed down. Took my best suit and put on. Polish my best shoe. Wear my best wrist watch, comb my hair and was looking muuaah. I came to the parlour and hmmm, the aroma of that indomie is enticing, mouth watering, sweet and delicious to the nose.
As i near the plate, i look inside and my charisma, ego, hunger and everything wey dey push me to eat the indomie drop from 100 to -20.
Me: Samuel!!!!!! Wetin be this.
Samuel: *from inside room* na mama iyabo s–t.
Me: you dey mad. Look as water full am. The indomie come dey like fish wey dey swim for river Niger.
Samuel: mumu, u no know wetin dem they call indomie pepper soup again?
Me: i tell you say i won eat indomie pepper soup? Na the jollof own i like.
Chaiii, how man pikin go do. I just seat down carry the indomie pepper soup take one spoon first to see. Who knows, may be him add this medicine wey dem they call “e dey kill mosquito, he dey kill cockroach, e dey kill rat, e dey work well well i dey tell you”
Me: ahhhhhhhhhh, this thing too pepper naw!!
Samuel: *coming out of the room* na so indomie pepper soup dey dey..
Me: na fresh pepper you add or dry pepper??
Samuel: *in James bond’s voice* you go eat or not.
Me: i go manage.
Na so i use eat the overly over pepper indomie pepper soup. When i was through with the food. My head began spinning. I felt like somebody that has taken twelve bottles of small stout.
Na today i know say alcohol and over pepper dey work the same. I stood up and head straight to the door.
Samuel: wey you dey go?
Me: see useless question oo. Na baba ijebu i won go play with my Italian suit.
Samuel: *laughing so hard* no problem. Dey go.. At least *pointing to my cv and other files on the chair i sat earlier* i go dash almajiri those cv make them take go fine work.
I turned back and lo, i was going to an interview with nothing, maybe na my teeth i go go show them. Thank God for Samuel.
Me and Samuel are really best friends. Some do call us brothers. The whole neighbourhood enjoy our company because of the way we yab (insult but play play oo) ourselves everytime. Unlike other guys, we don’t fight or quarrel infact.
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I took my cv and other files in my bag holding the bag tight like tomorrow no dey. When i reach the gate, i knock and the security men came out to check and inspect me.. Seeing that i am an applicant, they let me in.
Me: “chaiii this company big oooo” oh my God, just give me this job.
I prayed as i surveyed the whole surrounding. The place was so big that it even have elevators. Just then, a blue BMW came inside the compound. I use style go stand for place wey dem no go see me..
Me: “chaii, this car fine oo.. Who even get am” Lo and behold, my celebrity crush stephanie came down. JESUS!!!!!! This girl fine die. She fine die, she fine die. Oboy, see long straight legs. Big a-s, big boobs, long hair and nice lips. She fine die. Wait oo i forget to mention her skin colour. She fine die. Chaii, see bodyguards ooo. But why angel from above is being guarded by mere men na.
Na so i forget my interview as i dey look her with my mouth wide open. Before i know, fly don construct garage for my mouth. One stand near my throat dey control the heavy traffic.
Mtcheeew, wetin concern me.. Abeg my continue dey look my celebrity crush. She too fine die. Chaii idris, your eye don open today!!
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TBC
