It took a long time for her to sort out her feelings. Guilt, rage, fear, distress – she had never had so much going on in her mind and heart all at once!
For the first time in her life, her father could not read her. He kept looking at her. He knew not to ask her if she was okay – it had been the cause of many a fight. And often, he could read her to know when she wanted to talk. But this was different. She had rushed home breathless on Sunday afternoon, and since then, had been absolutely quiet. She was blank. She did not talk when he talked. She hardly came out of her room. Broken was the only word he could use to describe her sudden change – but he couldn’t figure out why.
She didn’t know if the numbness she felt was due to her hurt, or fear, or guilt. She didn’t know what to do. She hadn’t had an asthma attack in years – he had triggered one. She couldn’t tell Akwei – and she couldn’t even think of a sensible reason why not. She felt guilty – this was her fault! Or was it?
For a fleeting second, she thought to herself, if he was giving me the appropriate attention, maybe I wouldn’t have even considered a friendship with Kobby! But deep down, she knew she really could not blame anyone else.
For 2 weeks, she went on moping. She skipped work on a couple of occasions, with an excuse of a terrible migraine. She avoided Akwei like a plague – and even though he was quite busy, he knew there had to be something up.
By week three, she had worked herself back to normal– at least that’s what everyone saw. Nobody saw what was going on in her heart, and she did a good job of hiding it well. She was after all a child of her mother! She saved her tears for those late nights when she was startled awake by a nightmare. She immersed herself so hard in her work, so she was constantly exhausted – for exhaustion was the easiest way to fall asleep.
Even Akwei was fooled. All he knew was that she no longer worried him about not having enough time for her, and that for him was a good thing – maybe she finally realised that the demands of work are truly high.
One balmy Sunday afternoon, while she was grocery shopping with Akwei, she was checking his list, and picking out the vegetables, while he followed her, replying work emails on his phone. She no longer bothered to ask him not to work when they were together. She was exhausted enough as it was.
She heard a familiar voice that startled her. It was him. Kobby. He had the guts to say hello. She stood there, shaking. She couldn’t tell what it was she was feeling – Rage? Fear? She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, and she certainly couldn’t speak. Akwei must have noticed that she was no longer moving. He looked up from his emails and looked from her to Kobby. She seemed flustered. Before he could ask if she was okay, she took to her heels and run out of the supermarket.
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When they got to his place, she got to cooking, while he went back to check if he’d gotten any more emails concerning the deal he’d been handed at work. It was one of those things that could easily get him a promotion – not that he was doing it for a promotion. He loved his job.
Well, you can love your jobs on the days when you don’t have your girlfriend spending time with you! He felt bad. But she was always so understanding. He knew she’d understand. She always did. Besides, that promotion would give them that money for the crazy wedding she had in mind.
Kayla cooked the stews absentmindedly. She didn’t go and call Akwei the way she usually would. She wasn’t even upset that he wasn’t helping.
“I only accepted to help you with the cooking, not to cook for you – I’m not your maid, to be slaving away while you work. This is supposed to be us spending time together, what’s the point if you’ll keep working?”
That had been an interesting day. She’d had so much to tell him, about the kids from the orphanage they had just partnered with. But he had brought his laptop to the kitchen, and typed away non – stop for close to an hour. She lost it and told him off!
Today, she enjoyed the time alone. She was surprised he hadn’t asked anything about the incident at the supermarket. He was probably going to ask later. And what was she going to say? The thought of talking to him about what happened nauseated her. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Maybe she would write a note.
By the time the food was cooked, Akwei was fast asleep. He must have dozed off while he worked. She didn’t want to talk to him anyway. She called an Uber, set a table for him, and left a note saying she didn’t want to wake him up, since he had work the next day. She knew it was a lie. He would have questions for her – and she wasnt ready to answer them just yet!
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To be continued…..
