Burn what!
Did she just say she will help me burn a box of half a million naira?!?!
“No, you can’t do that!” I exclaimed over the phone.
“Why? You asked me to help you burn your old fake life, isn’t it what this is about?” She asked surprised.
“I know, but I need to do this myself.” I had to be careful not to make her suspicious; that is if she wasn’t suspicious already.
“So tell me about your day.” I said, trying to warm her up a bit. I listened as she talked endlessly about how hectic her day was. I feigned interest and endured through it all.
“You need to rest; we will hook up later tonight.” I said and she agreed.
An hour later, she called to inform me there had been some developments. She said a colleague of hers just reported sick and their supervisor was trying to swap her to do the duty. She sounded very angry, saying she was sure the colleague lied about her health and that she was sure she’s faking it all.
I felt it was going to be impossible to see her that 31st night. I had almost given up but an hour and half later she called and informed me she was done with her duty and was about leaving the hotel. I was too delighted to ask how she managed to pull it off but instead, prepared to meet her.
We were to meet at an eatery close to my place. I chose the eatery as a matter of convenience. I still hadn’t drawn up a plan yet on how to convince her we shouldn’t burn the carton. What would be her reaction when she sees the contents? Was I even going to allow her see it? Seeingt i would be absurd. I decided to let the events take care of themselves; one thing was sure: no one is going to burn my half a million “hard-earned” money!
It didn’t take her long to locate the eatery.
She looked exhausted and I had this feeling she was struggling to stay focused. She carried a fancy polythene bag with contents of what I presumed to be the carton. I was delighted.
“how do you do?” I asked as we settled, trying to hide my excitement on the baggage she was carrying.
“Tired! Exhausted!” she exclaimed. Then went on and on about how the hotel was filled to capacity and everyone had to be on their toes to attend to them and do their job.
“Only for that silly Emily to claim she was sick and head home!” she added.
“Emily?” I asked. The name rang a bell. I was sure I had seen one of the attendants with that name tag; either the dove, raven or parrot.
“Yes! She was fine in the morning, only to come back from room-cleaning and lie that she was feeling sick and needed to go.” She continued.
It was obvious she needed someone to talk to and let off the steam, so I listened to her boring tale with patience.
“I too told them I was on medication and couldn’t work more than 12 hours!” she informed me with a smile like she was proud of her desceptive bravery. I guess that was how she was able to convince them to let her go.
I asked what she would take but she declined; like she wanted to get it over with and head home.
“I can do this alone by myself if you’re too tired.” I asked, hoping she would hand over the baggage and head home. She stared at the baggage, stared at me, and back to the baggage like she was contemplating.
“No, I promised to be there with you when you burn the old life, we’ll do this together.” She said. “Moreover, I will love to see what is inside the bag.” She added like an afterthought.
“Alright then, lets go.” I stood and we left the restaurant.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“My place isn’t far from here.” I replied. My friend had gone for the all night in his church. If I play my cards right, I may just have the best of the out-going 2014; half a million cash and a lovely ar’se to rock.
She threw her exhausted self on the bed as we got into the house, exposing a huge part of her laps in the process. Then she rolled on the bed to face me.
“Are you done with the old fake life now?” she asked.
“Yes, old things have passed away, all things are become new.” I replied and she smiled.
“Tell me more about yourself.” She requested. Here was I, thinking she was damn too tired to maintain a stare. I told her bits about myself, skipping a whole lot of details. By the time I was done, her head was resting on my shoulders on the bed.
I didn’t need any other invitation before I started caressing her. Without any hesitations coming from her, I took that as consent and probed further.
