How do you explain having a crush all your earthling existence and yet, not able to express how you felt because you were too shy and probably because you fear rejection which is why you follow him around school like a lost puppy ever since you were like twelve and realised just how breathtakingly handsome he was..
That had been my dilemma for my twenty- something years of existence and that boy was Jayden.
Sweet, sweet Jayden, the love of my humble young feeble years to the love of my youth and adult fantasies.
HOW IT ALL BEGAN
A trip down memory lane shall we? Take a sit, grab a box of tissue and maybe a jar of chocolates… Isn’t that what girls do when they have their hearts broken?
We lived across the street from each other and went to the same school, same class and everything but we never talked those early years.
He was the jovial happy-fun-loving kid, the extreme extrovert and lovable, plus he was the top of his class at everything.
Me? Let’s just say I was invincible.
No one knew me, well if you put aside the fact I got nicknamed “ugly duckling” due to a nasty fall. But that’s for later.
Oh yes, ugly duckling. That was my nickname. I had braces on since I was like ten, I wasn’t even pitied and considered fine, my hair was a mass of spongy thick cobwebby mane; it never could stay flat so I was constantly walking around with natural dreadlocks because it hurt a lot to run a comb through it. Believe me, I tried. Mum gave up eventually and dad wouldn’t even dare.
I had a look of misplaced priorities, I mean I was too short for a girl, clumsy around the edges, flat chested and looked like a pole, In fact I was a total mess. I sucked at practically everything, I was an overly timid child, I kept to myself and it was obvious I didn’t have friends. No one wanted to hang with a girl who lacked all sort of “Everything”. I was a loner. The only person who looked my way was Vera, she was an exchange student and we bonded after a while. But again, not relevant. Back to the reason of my tarnished young years.
It even sucked more that I was in the same class with Jayden and the only thing I was good at was drooling over his cute face and breath-taking smile, his smartness and the fact that he was like everyone’s favourite kid and I wasn’t even jealous, no, I just liked him pretty bad and wanted to be his friend at least, just maybe I would die happy, but it couldn’t be helped.
It didn’t matter how many times I passed his seat to get to mine Or how many times I helped to pick up his pen when it slips off his bag, I was sitting directly behind him practically my whole life and he never noticed me.
I mean, we lived just a few feet’s apart and he never knew my name.
Well…am sure “ugly duckling “would ring a bell. I wouldn’t even had cared if he called me that. I would smile and be happy for the rest of my life, If only wishes were horses right..?
It took the grace of everything divine to help me not to flunk exams.
All through junior high, I followed him like his invincible shadow, I knew his time table and made it mine, I attended all his classes and I didn’t even like maths, I would learn the language of the gods if he asked me to, but for him, I brought in all my A-game, I literally had to beg mother to sign me up for extra moral classes just because being close to him was like sitting next to this deliciously chocolate cake and because you don’t want to ruin it you just stare at it drooling, hoping it stays perfect like that for ever, but the sad thing is that you just want to eat it, savour it and feel it roll over your tongue and just “ummmmmm” closing your eyes when the taste reaches the highest point in your head.
Silly me right? Oh well. #shrugs
Kindly like our Facebook Page POBSONLINE.COM for more amazing stories
I hated sports, but I attended all his games and cheered the loudest. He was a basketball player. He was tall, even for his age, dark wavy hair, and those eyes, those deep blue eyes that could look deep in to your soul and make you tell him all of your dark little secrets and his smile, heavenly divine.
See…
I had to be there for everything that he was, everything that he needed. They say, you have to value the things the one you love values, so I wasn’t exactly in the wrong was I? He loved maths I had to start loving maths, he was into sports, I couldn’t join the cheerleading team because, well you know, you had to be beautiful, long hair you can toss here and there rolling your head, long legs that ran up for miles and well, just be beautiful and you know I was a zero when it came to that.
So, I was content going to his daily practice, every game. It didn’t matter that I stood and watched by the side-lines, all I wanted was just to be able to see him every day and listen to him speak smart and make all the girls swoon after him by merely doing nothing and goodness, Jayden didn’t have to try hard for anything, He was a total genius . His aura was electrifying and at the same time captivating. When I think about him, my tiny little heart dies a thousand flips.
Then one day, out of the blue, the stars shines down on me. Oh! I felt the rays of the rainbow parting the cloud of mist and it parted like the red sea and he stood there right in front of me, like my Moses to my red Sea, or like my Sinbad crossing the seven seas. Yes, Jayden Michael was my divine miracle.
Mr Kenny had given each of us an assignment and needed us to work it into a project for the last semester before the summer break and we all were asked to pair and of course, everyone wanted to be paired with Jayden. Well, hell yeah! I also wanted to be paired with him too but I didn’t dare say it out loud, my timid shy self wouldn’t let me, I instead hoped to the heavens and the stars and all the gods that I could keep him away from every body and apparently , everyone wanted to keep him away from everyone,
“The nerve of them!” I rolled my eyes
And the class was in chaos. I literally threw daggers at every girl looking at him, I wanted to pluck out their eyes and feed it to the ducks. And the boys? Well, they don’t mean any harm do they…
Mr Kenny had to reshuffle, Jayden was causing such an uproar like he was a celebrity of some sort. And hell yeah he was, he was the Michael Jackson to my Billy Jean, the Elvis Presley to all that was sweet, Jayden was the star and he needed no rock to shine. I mean not mentioning that he was like the richest kid in school, which I didn’t care about, even if he sold biscuits on the highway I would still want to take him home and stare at him all day. But I get it, superstars were gushed all over, and when everyone kept insisting to be paired to Jayden, I tried not to summon the super powers I didn’t have and toss every single girl in class out of the window, a thousand miles, two countries and galaxies away from my Jayden. Yes, my Jayden.
“Quiet down everyone. Quiet down. I am going to share numbers and alphabets. 1a will be paired with 1b, 2c and 2d and Etcetera, you pick one and then you check who you are paired once you come back to school tomorrow, and it’s going to be finale, no more arguments on that matter.”
Everyone scurried to the box after Mr Kenny wrote down the numbers and poured the contents into a box placing it on his desk, everyone picked out folded pieces of paper, when it was my turn, my heart literally falling out of my chest, giving up,
‘Jayden must have been picked already’ I silently sobbed, strolling to the front dipping my hand into the box and picked. The bell rang telling us all it was time to go home, everyone picked up their bags and filed out, forming a circling around Jayden as he left, chatting him up, smiling and brushing up against him and my dreams went with him, my hopes were dashed, I tucked what was left of my heart into my bag, slings it over my shoulders, slouching my back I went home downcast as though the boat carrying all my treasures were at the bottom of the sea where it sunk.
To be continued
