Ps Dunamis Okunowo(KHC)
Marriage in itself does not have much power beyond the two people involved and their relationship with God. What makes the marriage covenant effective is the personal relationship that both spouses have with their God.
For example, a man that has the fear of God and is conscious of the covenant factor in marriage will not get involved in adulterous relationships. On the other hand, a man that has no respect for the covenant will not hesitate to dishonor the marriage covenant. So and in effect, the marriage relationship or covenant is as honourable to the extent that both spouses honour God in their lives.
This is why we keep telling you from time to time, you cannot just marry anybody! That somebody has hot legs or that a man has a car is not enough reason to marry that person! Even though, marriage is a sacred institution that God Himself instituted, it is left for the couples or intending couples involved not to trample on that which is sacred.
Here a few things that marriage will not do for you.
1. Marriage will not change your personality
Marriage will not change your personality because marriage is not really a change agent. Change begins from within and not from without. That you now have a man or woman beside you and wedding rings on your fingers does not change anything about you, really.
Once you notice that you have some negative personality tendencies, start working on them right away and don’t wait till you are married.
If you are a sanguine before marriage, you will simply become a married sanguine. For ladies, your saw-name changes but your personality remains the same until you consciously start working on yourself.
2. Marriage will not reduce the pressures you face.
Marriage brings more pressures. It gets you busier. As a single, I had so much time to pray, especially long hours of praying in the Spirit. If I needed to pray for a long stretch of time now as married man and a father, I have to disappear somewhere to do that.
You can be praying in your study, and you are so much lost in God’s glory, in fact you are in the third heavens, with Shekinah glory all over you in your study, and then, your little boy or girl knocks furiously on the door saying, “Daddy, I want Biscuits!”
Trust me, you will need to come down from the third heavens back to the earth and hand that Biscuits to her, so that she would not grow to hate your God that is taking Daddy away!
As single, you have all the time in the world now. Use it, because it will never get freer!
3. Marriage will not make you more spiritual.
Marriage will not make you more spiritual. In fact, it will make you carnal some of the time! Before you were married, your waking moments were gladly and powerfully given to God, but now your spouse complains that you cannot even give a good morning kiss before getting up from bed! There you go!
Before, all the worship is unto God, but now its some for God, some for your wife! After you are through with “God I worship you, I bless you, I honour you” and so on, then you resume the part two which are ‘Dear, I love you, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, you are this and that!’
And trust me, it is something you have to do, because the scripture advises that you love, embrace and let her thoughts fill your heart!
So the real deal is creating a balance and to make sure one does not suffer for another.
But in all of that, the couple should learn to give God the first place in their lives. When they do that, God will help them and teach them by His Spirit how to make the marriage work better.
4. Marriage will not bring joy.
Marriage will not bring joy. It can bring happiness, which is temporary. The only guaranteed factor that brings joy is the word of God. So, both of you should fill your hearts with the word of God. Apart from all the chocolates and delicacies, you should also learn to “eat” God’s word regularly.
Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts (Jeremiah 15:16 KJV)
That way, joy is guaranteed, even in the midst of contradictory situations. The reason joy is so important is because it is your strength. You need that strength in marriage. Depression weakens you.
But the joy of the Lord brings strength!…for the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10b KJV)
Know this and understand that a successful godly marriage will not be on tripping, outings, eating out, vacations, and cinemas alone, but in righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.
For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.